Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Swimsuit Optional!

Couple of weeks ago the girls and I drove out to Robert Moses and decided to go to Field 5. Between the scorching sun and my A.D.D. I couldn't sit still and decided to take a stroll down the beach towards the lighthouse. With Blondie as my companion we soon walked into something we completely didn't expect to see... full on NUDITY. I always thought with US being so strict about clothing on the beach (Miami doesn't count) nude beaches were just an urban myth. Oh.. was I wrong!

There it was at 12 o'clock, a penis approaching. Then at 11.. and at 10.. and quickly we were surrounded with old saggy butts and penises that barely resembled one!

Will tell you one thing, the variety of shapes and sizes was truely amazing and unexpected. We couldn't help byt stare! Thank God for baseball hats and dark sunglasses, otherwise we would have walked away from there being called perverts!

It was amazing for me to see who actually are the people who decide to sunbathe in the nude... and they tend not to be the ones you would expect to see naked in public.
The ration of men to women was rather larger.. about 80/20 (totally expected) but most of them were way pass the middle-age point, and judging by the saggy butts they should not be naked anywhere except in the privacy of their shower.

Things that caught our attention:
1. Women with tops and no bottoms
2. Popularity of Prince Albert
3. Penises that looked more like either a third ball or "outie" belly button
4. Ball to penis disproportion (aka miniature golf pencil penis and softball size balls
5. Naked man on crutches with a CHUBBY that kept swinging his dick between his legs to catch our attention! Dude we see it, it's there, no need to draw more attention to it!
6. Naked couple sitting by the water spooning (possibly having sex)
7. 70 year old dude with and early 20s girl in the ocean, her legs spread apart and around his waist, most definitely having sex!
8. Men with T-shirts on and no bottoms...

Needless to say we go back there every weekend now! Nudity is addictive! ;-)

1 comment:

  1. Ha! Nearly all beaches on Fire Island have a nude section. You just have to walk far down in one direction. Fire Island got its name from the native americans of long island who in the fall said that the turning foliage made it look on fire!