Monday, August 9, 2010

Nudist Colony

After going to the nude beach Blondie Spice and I finally got the courage to get rid of our tan lines. Yes we were naked in public.

Laid facedown ... naked butts out! All of 5 minutes passed before we were approached by a fellow nudist just to tell us we're naked on the wrong side of the sign and that we should move (10-15 feet) to avoid the ticket! So we picked up our staff and the remainder of decency we still had and moved. Bitching about it in Polish a little too loud apparently because a man covered entirely by a sheet said to us: "No swearing!" - in Polish. We drive and 1.5 hours outside of the city, go where there are very little people to try to remain incognito... and what finds us.... fellow Polish men!!!!! Seriously?!
We both turned bright red out of pure embarrassment, but since we were already naked we remained that way. Blondie looked up just to see the naked man that was hiding underneath his sheet... walking towards us... Fuckity fuck fuck!!!!! Not only did he approach us.. but ended up bringing his sheet and laying it right next to us! Well there goes our privacy!

It was really hard holding up a conversation with our naked bums hanging out... plus we really didn't want to talk... we wanted to work on getting rid of our tan lines not talk to naked men!!!

He quickly called his friend... the original Polish Hippie! A wandering artist. We ended up laughing with them for the entire day.. but neither one of us had enough courage to turn over, so we remained face down, butts out for wayy too long. They actually realized that we were feeling shy and kept making fun of us because of it. That made it worse...

The result of our nude beaching experience isn't pretty. As Scary described it.. my butt looks like a baboon's ass!!!! And it hurts really bad! Aloe ain't even cutting it at this point. Clothes stick to it, and it hurts to sit or actually even move!

Worst part of the whole thing was that Blondie and Scary actually know one of those guys, as he is a frequent visitor at their Brooklyn office! Who ever said New York was a big city was a fool!! And no ... you can't be incognito ... cause there will always be someone who has met you before! And what could be worse of a scenario than being nude?!

I think we have learnt our lesson.. and maybe nude beaching isn't for us after all!