1 drink min or max??!!

I think I have officially lost my drinking mojo! I've used to be able to have 4-6 drinks and still be standing on my feet. Well last night really proved me WRONG! After a bike ride, 1.5 hours of tennis and no dinner.. I've became a REALLY cheap date! 1 drink was enough for me to not be comfortable on my own two feet!

Maybe it was the no dinner thing, or too much exercise, or all of the above, but I have crossed the line to alcohol danger zone aka#1 handle with care if under influence, aka #2 be prepared for fun!

Well last night I slipped out before inappropriate actions have taken place. Phewwww...

But...

With the bachelor (yes not bachelorette) party looming in the near future, all I'm going to say is yikes! I've been forewarned by a friend already not to end up on a pole next to the stripper.. so I may just have to substitute those jello shots with gatorade? Maybe? Or simply ask for a Shirley Temple instead of a Martini!

A little much for a Monday morning subway ride...

I know people don't seem to be very happy on a Monday morning... especially pre-coffee. And I got to experience it first hand today.

In case you don't know this about me... I love to read! All sorts of books, fiction, non-fiction, love memoirs etc. For the longest time I've been interested to the genre I like to refer to as 'hooker books'. Yes you've heard it right. The are pleasantly explicit in their nature, and really entertaining. Listen some people watch porn, I prefer to read about it.

So there I was 9 am on a monday morning reading the 'Secret Diary of a Call Girl', while the man sitting next to me was reading ... the Bible! Not only reading it, but with 3 differently colored highlighters he was studying it.

As I continued to keep my nose in my own business, he continued to look over my shoulder (hate that)... and didn't fail to express his disapproval of my choices. Judgmental people piss me off, so I left the train saying that I'm researching a career change. Couple people looked at me mortified, and others laughed... (which was really the desired reaction)

I guess even New Yorkers can be a bit too nosy...

Things I have learnt in the first 48 hours... and also things that make me want to stay SINGLE!

1. Guys don't take rejection very easily. They stalk you, if you don't respond and ask its only fair of you to send them a picture. Then when you don't they keep stalking you and say you must be ugly... way to keep it classy boys! Girls get it.. he's just not that into you... so MOVE ON!

2. 80% are in love with themselves and the way the look (no matter how they look), short tall, fat, skinny, bold head but lots of facial hair... oh just shave it all off, and have the balls to do so!

3. 5'8'' seems to be 'tall' to an average man, yeah I wonder whether they were the tall ones within their Pygmy group.

4. People really don't smile on their pictures, all those angry gangsta poses don't do it for me... so smile and show me your pearly whites...

5. Mustaches are so my dad's generation! And let them stay there!

6. Ok.. this guy really needs a whole point. Vic wrote: "I even have a sexy red car to go with the date,,,lol can u send pics of u too,,, we can chat on yahoo im vmansexy or aim vmansexy007"

Just so you know that sexy red car was a Mazda RX8... and by the look of it, I would say at least 5-7 year old model... really????? And who would put 'sexy' in their username .... I really think he's one of those people with web cams... that use it in the privacy of their home (aka room at his parents house) in the middle of the night (in case mommy brings fresh snacks and tea).... and NAKED.....(scarry!) One more.. he did have a mustache! ewwww

7. I have no words for guy named Carey (threw up... TWICE, when I saw that)

Hi there, I enjoy sports (including softball, baseball, football, basketball), traveling, movies, cooking, dining out, live bands, comedy clubs, bowling, mini-golf, shooting pool, etc, anything fun. I'm an athletic 39 SWM 5' 6" with dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes. I have an MBA and my profession is finance. Hope to speak with you soon. Carey Great buddy... and how does that fit the description tall, dark and handsome?? Do we need to send him back to school for some much needed reading tests?? 8. It is one thing to wear one of those dorky bluetooth pieces when you're driving (well I wouldn't be caught dead wearing one) but have someone take a pictures of you with it on... ohhhh sooo not sexy... Mr. Businessman... soooo not.

Well.. I think those were some of the best ones... more to come as the experiment continues...

Social experiment!

I know it's been awhile since the last time we talked... I guess nothing worthy enough happened in that time to really write about... well maybe worthy enough but too personal would be a better way to put it. Sometimes (only sometimes) I don't kiss and tell ;-).

With my good friend's wedding in sight (less than a month away) and single since lately my men/boy toy obsession has turned into tennis obsession(while my tennis coach obsesses about me), I found myself with no date to take to the wedding. All is great, don't really mind going to events on my own, its just that its a closed event and nowhere to run if it gets really bad. Plus do I really want to be the 29 year old that has been put at the kids table? Especially when the theme of the wedding is "somewhere over the rainbow"... encouraged to wear brightly colored outfit, I would just be another Cinderella in the room. And besides... you all know my feelings about kids... 10 foot pole needed for ANY interaction, well with the exception of my nephew Lucas.

I've asked couple of my guy friends whether they would come and surprisingly both were up for it! Problem (as I always seem to have one) one is not 100% reliable, and would probably cancel on me last minute, and the other one would get the wrong impression, friends isn't the same as fuck friends, well at least in my dictionary.

Needless to say persuaded by Curly I started this 'social experiment', where I placed a post on a website looking for a date for the wedding.

Requirements: tall, dark and handsome, gotta dance and have a suit! I guess conversation wouldn't be such a big issue with so much food, drinks (and more drinks), loud music etc...

The post have been up for about 12 hours now and all I will say right now is that I'm starting a new charity. A charity that aims to provide MIRRORS to all the single men out there, since most of them really need a reality check!! So please donate, and do so quickly, NYC men have to awaken asap!

It has been an amusing experience so far, had couple GREAT laughs from it, so I will keep you posted and will try to put some images together for you as well. Promise it will be fun, so stay tuned for more.

Well, I can't leave without a sneak peek.. ok

1. Theo - a cardiology resident at Presbyterian Hospital, 6'1'' cute and funny, originally Brazillian (def a possibility!)

2. Steve - italian, 5'8'' shaved head and brown eyes... 17 tattoos and 2 piercing (prince albert??)

Ok... I asked about a suit not tattoos... and last time I checked 5'8'' was TALL for a WOMAN!

Vodkas Jacks, Chubakas and Jamaican bros... what a melting pot!

What is better way to finish a god awful week with a hair cut, a new color and some vodka?!

And it so happened that Mr. Rockstar was playing a show at BB Kings that night... so Charlie's Angels (aka me, Blondi Spice and Scary Spice) were heading to Times Square.

We quickly became something of a local attraction.. as we were most likely the tallest people in there! It was really time for us to start drinking.. and dancing...

Couple things worth mentioning...

Mr. Preppy (one of the guys that came up to us) that was so drunk that couldn't muster a word , because he was so wasted. All he kept doing was those hand motions that suggested he was about to say something... well.. not much was there to say. We kept making fun of his drunkenness.. but little did we know we were about to hit that level really soon, and actually go wayyyyy beyond that! He finally blurted out a question... "Where are you from?", since I hate those questions I always make people guess... according to Mr. Preppy we were British!

We felt bad we didn't make a banner for our Rockstar friend.. so couple digs in a bag and a visit to the friendly bartender we were ready to make a banner... Napkins, two colored pens and our boobs (to display it on) was all it took!

In the meantime, people were going crazy.. there was a group of really short people dancing in a makeshift circle, they really caught our attention, as they looked like a group of chubakas that were let out for a fun night out on the town! I mean... .I don't think there are more proper words to describe them... as chubakas doing the chubaka dance!

All in all we had a BLAST! Although there are still parts of the night that we can't remember.. probably a good thing!

Times Square at 4 am isn't the best place to be, as we were waiting for Rockstar to come out from the show we managed to meet some Jamaican men, speaking french to them (I guess when you're drunk anything is possible).. that were inviting us to their 125th St apartment to get high... what... really?? Somewhere during that conversation we apparently managed to leave two voicemails on our friend's phone... that I just got to listen to today... WOW... and it all came back to me... but why oh why was I speaking english with Russian accent on those messages??!!

Well nearly peed my pants listening us talking about our new Jamaican friends...

6:30 am was more or less when we finally made it to bed... Next day it was time to go through our bags... and between weird postcards, business cards etc.. some of us had more of a surprise hiding there! ;-)

Ignorance is Bliss - a rant!

It really amazes met how in this day and age there are so many people that are prejudice against other people. I don't think I'm naive here but are we still living in times where stereotypes are such big part of how we look at people?! REALLY?!

Hey.. just because I'm Polish it doesn't mean I'm an unhappy alcoholic, just because someone is Muslim doesn't mean they are the next shoe bomber, or being Black doesn't mean they wear their pants below their bums and carry stereos blasting hip-hop on their shoulders!

How did we manage to get so self centered that we create our own little world with no tolerance for others and use stereotypes as our basis for judging people that we don't even know??? Why do we use our different backgrounds against people? We are not that different, no matter where and how we grew up. No one has a perfect life, or childhood for that matter. One thing that we do have in common is that we all take part in creating our futures, so we can either sit there and blame the world and past for our misfortunes or we can try to get past that, and create better future!

Here is a news flash... not all actions of other people have to be benefiting us!

We can draw whatever we want from peoples doings and learn from it rather than get stuck in a continuous circle of mistakes. Insanity after all is repeating the same things, expecting different results!

Friendship is a two way street where each of the people benefit from it, whether its emotional, intellectual or physical (I'm talking team sports, not sex here!) It's not eye for an eye, and just because you give more at times doesn't mean that you will be getting more back. It means you're creating a good karma for yourself and one day when you least expect it, that good karma will come back to you! Friendship also means honesty, that can be sometimes hard to hear, but that helps us in the long run.

So from now on.. for those intolerant ones.. here are some guidelines of how you should be looking at people!

Fine -------------------------freaked out insecured neurotic and emotional,
Adventurous ---------------Sleeps with everyone.
Emotionally Secure--------On medication.
Free Spirit------------------Pot friendly.
Open-minded---------------Desperate.
Outgoing--------------------Loud and embarrassing.
Caring-----------------------Stalker.
Independent Thinker------Crazy.
Poetic----------------------- Lazy.
Friendly---------------------Never shuts up.
Financially secure----------Has a job
Affectionate-----------------Horny

This blog has been prompted by couple really frustrating conversations, I've had recently. I know opinions are like assholes everybody has one, and I can respect that, what I can't respect is the intolerance that comes out. The fact that I have a different opinion on something doesn't mean that I don't value you as a person or I should think of you less! Vibrant discussions make relationships way more fun. Life would be really boring if we all always agreed... but in that same sense lets all grow up together. Because getting old is not a choice, growing up is, so lets make the best of it!

Faux pas x2 aka wrong address.. underwear malfunction

Wednesday night=date night for me lately. Its perfect, not Monday, which tends to be loser dating night, and not Friday, which tends to be relationship night. I keep it right in the middle.

Faux pas number 1: I gave the guy the wrong address. I was so sure that I lived at 69-31 xxx Street, but ohhh no.. I just wanted to live there! The red light didn't start flashing when my iPhone couldn't find it, or they were telling me that such address doesn't exist when I was trying to update it on all my documents... oh no. It actually took another person telling me I'm delusional (well not really, he was nice enough not to say it out loud) for me to walk downstairs and check the number. Yes 61-39 it is. But the other one was sooo much cooler! Oui oui?Non non?

Faux pas 2: For this one you need a little background info.

For the past couple of months I've been a frequent visitor to Victoria's Secret. It really is a blessing and a curse having it right on the corner from where I work. Bum is happy but wallet is not ;-). Needless to say I've bought LOTS of new undies. And since I can't put them all on at the same time (bummer, since I like to layer things) I stuck them in the drawer waiting for a proper occasion ;-). Well I thought last night could have been that potential occasion, so after I got home I hopped in a shower, and put the new 'lacie' on.

The evening was going well, Jonesy (my vicious chihuahua) didn't even attempt to eat my date, big success there! And on the contrary really liked him and wanted to be buds from the get go.

A bottle of red wine, yummy dinner and great conversation and the night flew by. And like all responsible adults do, they finish a night at a reasonable hour on a school night (well I'm still learning how to do that... does that mean I'm not a responsible adult? or maybe not an adult?)

Tired and a bit tipsy from the wine, I took my clothes off just to notice that the underwear I was wearing still had the tag attached to it. FUCK! Really K? REALLY? I just hope it wasn't sticking out of my pants all night saying hello! I mean what would I say if he noticed? 'Oh you know I was just planning on returning them tomorrow?!' ... 'just trying them out.. I'm quite picky with underwear...' 'wanted to make sure you see the tag buddy, so you know what to buy me'???????

Right, knowing me I probably would say any of the above as I don't really get embarrassed, and as usual would have to turn this whole thing into a joke on myself.

Note to self, if planning on wearing new undies please make sure to take the damn tags off! Better yet, take them off as soon as you buy them! Or they will pop out of your jeans to say hello and embarrass you! And definitely learn your address before you give it out to anyone!

;-)